Finally

AFter the much awaited anticipation, I finally arrived in London on monday 7th DEc 2009 :) Its cold Duh :) its winter . Stating the obvious :)

Well yeah I am on my way of Great recuperation and great health :) Insya Allah :) Well and yeah people wish me luck for my next adventure :) EURO!!! Boot boot

Anyway I miss u dearest Princess :) wait for mummy k :) Love u Always all the time


XOXO
LuLu

Soft Spots

There are times in life where things hit you at the softest spots.
When these happens, U just cant help but shed a tear or two.
Soon after it ends, those tears dry up and u smile again.
Cause u dun regret ever :)

Live a life as a Gemini, No regrets, More Confusion, More Ambiguities , More laughter
Most Love :)

Every night , I wasted in sighs :) Dear Lord.. Hear me
Release me


XOXO
LuLU

My Happiness these days :)

As we speak now, it is 8 days before my flight to the UK :) OMG i am super excited la can :) MY life is just so much better from the thoughts of it.

I get to revisit the Great Britain :) Than its off for my Euro Trip 2009 :)

Dearest God
Thank you for thy blessings :) I love u God

Everyday ,
My anticipations grows,
Like a seeding flower that blooms,
A million beauty

It seems not far where it is been
Not far before I left my sorrowful life
A pretty sight I may have found
A beauty I might keep for the rest of my life

XOXO
LuLu

My Life now

It has been 3 months I got home( unfortunately that is) A home that is once mine is no longer mine anymore I guess:)

Well let me start, I broken off with Rowdy as we speak of it :) Well there are certain things in life you only learn when the person u thought loved u well didnt actually love u at all.

So today I stand. Never a day since I stepped onto Singapore land I have been happy . I seem to lost what made me happy before when I was here. Job interviews make me sick to my stomach and alas I don't think I am cut out for this .

To make matters worst, I have a family whom I seem to have lost respect for. So there goes my chances of being a good person in the family :) I work in a way whereby logical thinking and intelligence governs my desicion making. And with that, I think they are not be able to accept.

Now happier things in line, I have been lucky to have met a certain someone who brings me hope. Hope that happier things may just be in my stride. He taught me alot of things regular people don't or encourage. He showed me that the 20% of people ( non -idiots) do exists. For that he gained me. He took away my breath as I speak. Thanks love.U gave me hope and for that I will repay u I promise u that.

Now I am admist of major desicion making . I need to strive for something better. Something more worthwhile than this . True love prevails thru hard times. Love may be a small world but its miracles felt by many who lived and told the tale. Famous couples vouch for that. Love not necessary be relationship kinda love. LOve in all forms. The love for life. I need to find that.

Soon my life will,must and is better :) I must be happy :) will be :)

XOXO
LuLu

Major Reconstructions?

Maybe. Take a step back and review on what is going to happen in my life.. Look around Princess is comfortable on her "chair" ( which was originally supposed to be mine but she claim to be hers.) Who am I to argue.I do not know what I have done in my life to be proud of. Honestly, what shall I do?

No job, No fame, No wealth, No bf , No anything.. writers block on my book tskk..


XOXO
LuLu

tapi bukan aku... krispatih

This song is so super sad.. I felt like the girl in tis video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvW66QQeLCI

Took the liberty of translating the lyrics if i am wrong please correct me. Thanks..
jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka
tak ingin ku paksakan cinta ini
meski tiada sanggup untuk kau terima
aku memang manusia paling berdosa
khianati rasa demi keinginan semu
lebih baik jangan mencintaiku aku dan semua hatiku
karena takkan pernah kau temui, cinta sejati
reff:
berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini
dan jangan kau tangisi lagi
sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu
sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma
sebab rasa ku tlah mati untuk menyadarinya
semoga saja kan kau dapati
hati yg tulus mencintaimu
tapi bukan aku

Please do not regret my desicion
I do not wish to hurt you further
Neither do I wish to force this love
Even though I know its difficult for you to accept it
Indeed I am the most sinned human
Destroyed by you wanting to be with me
Please do not love me and my heart
Cause you will never find true love.

The story ends here
Please don’t cry anymore
I will never return to you ever again
I wish to express my endless apologies
Cause I don’t realize the hurt that I am causing you
I hope one day you will meet someone who sincerely loves you
But not me…

Happy birthday TO me... :)

Its my 23rd birthday.. Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me....
I know its my birthday and I shouldn't be upset about anything. But I cant help feeling so sad. Its sombre is taking its toll on my heart.. Why is it everytime i like some one and wished things will be futhur than what it is. It will stall and not be tt way? It hurts is it a curse to like and be liked in return? If i do not like tt someone he is willing to spend the rest of his life with me. And now things are weird and blah blah... argh.. I do know I will mend my broken heart.

Tears flow endless down my cheeks as I wasted in sighs. Maybe things will be different soon. Maybe the light will come into my life and I will find truth and eternal happiness. Insya Allah.. :)

Till than Happy Birthday darling girl.. :)


XOXO
LuLu

All of my life where have you been I wonder if I see you again

I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Now that you are walking right through my door

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

A sacred gift of heaven
For better, worse, wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down
Nor take your crown, never

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And everytime I've always known
That you were there, upon your throne
A lonely queen without her king
I longed for you, my love forever

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again


I was bloody emo listening to tis song by lenny kravitz.. sob sob... Feeling so depressed that I wanna drown myself in happy sauce.. Sigh...


XOXO
LuLu

Considerations

What did I do today? I went into town and had some lunch and coffee-ing.... Went to an art store with bubs in my mind.. Thinking what can I get for him.. As I was browsing thru the aisles, he called.. It seems crazy.. Most of the time we are thinking of each other when either one of us call each other.. :) how crazy is that? hehe.. He wanted sketching pencils instead of brushes.. So I bought him a sketch book and a couple of of sketching pencils.. :) With a little note in the book hopes he likes it.. :)


Like I said when the constellations of the stars meet. It can be pretty deserving experience.But bubs always working busy period for him.. almost leaving me alone sometimes. BUt its for a good thing. We still meet up along the week. He calls more than twice a day. Still sends me pictures of him.. :) All is good...


XOXO
LuLu

by the way

its been a month since i met bub-y.. :)

Till now.. its been good. great... insya Allah more days to come.. :)

Anger.. An early start of death.. :)

"Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection^[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my boyfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states." quoted from Wiki.. :)

Today I was involved in various heated arguments with inviduals.. Racism seems typical in tis lonely city of adelaide. I was walking, greeted with a fuc* u for no apparent reason. With the middle finger right in my face.. hmmm... what was tt for?? U tell me..

Next, was walking along rundle mall.. a bunch of stupid kids was laughing and pointing at me when i was just sitting down. Hmmm Do I look like an alien... Maybe they haven seen a strange looking creature like myself... oh well.. Moving on

Lastly, by far this is the stupidest.. I received this brochure. Abt the life of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W and first ting I thouht .. hmm is this Islamic or one of the attempts to slander Islam.. Look at the back..
For more details visit.. bible online .com or sumting .. I was like WHAT now chirstians know abt our prophet's life?? okay.. Read it.. It is filled with slanders to the Prophet and Islam! Sheesh.. I found one of the guys distributing the brochure cause the guy tt gave it to me ran away as soon as giving it to me..

I said "lLook what is ur purpose and why for putting Islam in tt way in ur brochure"
He answer " to let people know that Jesus is the true god"
I said " okay????? hurmmm..... " do u have to use Islam to prove ur God is right? okay smart move??? (NOT)

Than i said" why is jesus god?"
He said" The first page of the bible states that God potrays himself in the image of men. so jesus is god in a man"
I said" So every man can be god than?"
He said" are u go than ?"
I said" hell no !"
I said " Look why don't u go on utube and search for ahmed Deedat's debates. ( cause ahmed Deedat has debate with a couple of professors whom hold doctorates in Bible studies ) May U be enlightned and God bless" Than I walk off

What I do not understand is that WHY u have to use another religion to prove ur religion right? Why not show that ur religion is right cause it is right? get it?? I dunno but I feel that if it is the right religion u do not need to use another religion to show urs is better or what.. it is the teachings that ur religion teaches that determines everything right? or am i wrong ?

I was personally insulted by these acts today and i felt so mad.. But than i realise.. Why be upset and argue with idiots? sigh... so let things go and be fine and be merry. cause life is too short to be wasted on fools and idiots..

Bub-y always says" Never argue with fools :) "


XOXO
LuLu

Over a Cibo-Cino

I would always have my coffee @ Cibo along rundle street. The place is where i would let go of bottled feelings , thoughts and anger. My regular order would usually consists of a Cibo Cino no froth take away. hehe. More than a couple of the workers remembers my order.. Well I wrote a piece of what you can say peotry or prose on one of my visits there. Here it goes...

"My only mistake was to love a stranger. A stranger whom I do no know where he is from, who he is or his history plays. But the love I've found was strong yet mild. A timing love comes about. The smile I saw captures my soul.The heart of mine beats a million sorrows. For thy love, I kill. For thy love, I die. Melting into a timeless molten that last forever.

Who he is? The stranger of mine..... "

Feelin kinda low and depressed mood now. I do not know what will make me feel better. I really do not know. Tell me please. The mixture of intense moments and feelings are causing a stir in my peace.. :(


xOXO
LuLu

Happy faces but its a facade?

Sometimes somethings are not to be seen. Faith has it in us that things will change . When u believe in it it will be. Emo shit now.. arghh not nice.. anyway i got a piercing done.. just for it ... :)
counting down the days to be 23!~!!!! arghh not nice not nice

Happy Birthday Hamdi..

On Saturday, 2nd May 2009 we celebrated Hamdi's birthday. We lied to Hamdi, that we were going to Sydney.. Than we suprised him with a small birthday party... Following, we wanted to go to electric circus but, the queue was too long. So we decided to go to HQ man!!! HQ HQ!! it was a ballistic time we had..

Than he came by at abt 5 and we continued partying till abt 6 plus than we headed home. I was so happy and full of energy. I spent the whole day with him. Just chilling and having tea @ home. Yea pretty good day wasn't it.. Hmmm..
Sunday was cool.. Now its a Monday.. Monday always has Monday blues isn't it.. Well... its okie...


XOXO
LuLu

Painful sinus..

I am suffering from sinus headaches.. Thank u nasal spray for being there for me.

Currently, i am seated comfortably on my sofa,with a blanket.. Princess is sleeping beside me. She is so cute.. Hmm what is missing? SOME ACTION!! i need to hop and hop but if i hop and hop i might turn crazy.. I am still wondering why hasn't bach called me? its been more than a week.. Sigh Maybe he has really forgotten me .. Like totally.. Sigh... Its okie i guess. I guess I have to find happiness from deep within.

I dunno what else to write abt. Except today just wasn't as exciting as the previous days I guess?

Hmm....

XOXO
LuLu

Happiness & Dead & Gone

I caught a movie with someone yesterday. I actually enjoyed myself alot. The Boat That Rocked. Awesome film. Great story line. Very inspirational. Loved it. Its pretty amusing as well. Good old British humor..

Well since the company is great I truly enjoyed yesterday. Thanks baby.. *winks* Had a beautiful talk after that.. Truly its beautiful day. The constellations of the stars met well yesterday as the wind signs graced above them and explained the meanings of the silence instilled the human race.

Oh ya I looked closer to this song that was released quite sometime. DEad and gone. TI feat Justin Timberlake. WOW its really deep.

I've been travelin
on this road to long
Just trying to find
my way back home
The old me
is dead and gone
dead and gone
Ooooooo
I've been travelin
on this road to long
Just trying to find
my way back home
The old me
is dead and gone
dead and gone

I turn my head to the east
I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
swallow that pill
that they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
the new me will be alright
I turn my head to the east
I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
swallow that pill
that they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
the new me will be alright


Old me is dead and gone . Thats true. Its been a long time since i remember what i was like a really long time ago. The innocence wore on my frame. The world seemed so beautiful. It felt so surreal. That is before reality sunk it. Slowly day by day. I lost the meaning of being happy. Simple true happiness. Superficiality rise above all conquering all my senses. Hatred filled my mind. Its power takes a toll on my heart. The purity of my love tainted. I lost hope in life. The scenic picture of the world starts becoming blur. Instead I see visions of black and red. Black representing me in this world. Red the blood pouring out of my mouth. Everyday, the colors disappeared to somewhere. It was a fantasy. I no longer yearned for anything. Everyday I looked and searched for faces to regain my innocence. Its seems there is no one who would reimburst me. I am left alone stranded, surrounded by seas of abundance of sands. Plains and more plains of sand. I am standing alone against the lonely skies. Slowly I accepted the new me. There is no way I can find my way back home. I am sorry ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw9i-sM1BbI

Dead and gone..

XOXO
LuLu

Rejected

I think I've been rejected. Eerkss.. There was this guy I met online. I think I talk way too much.. Sigh .@ one moment I thought I had things going on in the right places. Its a miracle how things could just change in a moment. A confession? Am I getting to desperate? Or I just been bored cause I am not in a relationship ? I dunno I swear I dunno.Tears may flow. Just thinking abt Bach and how much I really did loved him. & how we didnt love me the way I wanted him too. I guess I was hurt by him. and the following 2 next relationship kinda sucked.. hehe I couldnt love them as much I wanted too. I really miss bach I do..

Now there are certain characters in my life now. I was with Bach for 2 years. 2 long years. Never dated any other men. After that there was DAniel And Nathan. Have I lost the touch to have just no strings attached relationships? I dunno.

Well in every girl's mind, she yearns to be in the relationship that is made for her. That 1 true love she was born for. That same love that drives to greatness and also causes her downfall. That 1 love that she lets down her pride for. And when that love smiles, she smiles ever so brightly. And if that love cries, she cries a river. The unbearable pain she felt when he decides to leave. How she would beg for just one more kiss for the last time.

Love Story By Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me; they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'


I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town.


We were both young when I first saw you..



Where is my Romeo?

XOXO
LuLu

PISSED ASS

I am so freaking pissed today. Had so many fights every1 really tried their best to piss me off. I wonder why. Today only my cat did not make me mad. In fact she is the only one that is kind enough to listen to me. Terrible day today. VERY TERRIBLE. In fact right at tis moment I am shaking with anger. My hands are trembling . Way badly.. I don't know what to do to calm meself down now. Why do I have such a fiery temper ? I swear I don't know. It is just in me, when everything is so down. Newton's law states that when one thing goes wrong everything else will. Or something along that line.

I don't know why people must angkat angkat to other people. Just be urself.Please urself and no one. I don't think I owed anyone else a living so why must angkat2 till like tt. Chill LAAAAAA..

One more thing the person I love most here in Adelaide besides Bach is My cat . She is my companion when times are dark . She seen me crying all the time and she comforts me in a way that no one does.

Sigh... :) I hope tomorrow is a better day...

XOXO
LuLu

Warm Welcome Residents of the World

I shifted me site from multiply to blog spot due to unforseen circumstances.

Yeah Let me u a review about my life. I am currently residing in Australia. South Australia to be specific. I am a recent graduate of University of Adelaide. Graduated in Chemical Engineering. Boring stuff but yeah.. I am unemployed ( to my dismay) as the recruiting market these days somehow resembles a total mess. Not a beautiful mess just messy.

Oh recently I saw jason mraz and missy higgins concert. LOVE them. But i love jason mraz more (indefinitely) . His live show is Awesome. Better quality than his cd. His voice and his stage personality is kicking my ass. hah pardon my english.

On weekends.. hmm what do i ?
I love partying over at HQ.. :) grinzzz...
Chill laxing at home with putty Gnarly Hashim
Looking at the sun and sea
Sand grass fresh beautiful air.. hmmmmmmm

I hate my neighbour downstairs. she lies, complains and not very friendly person. I will u guys the story soon..

Cheerios..

XOXO
Lulu