tapi bukan aku... krispatih

This song is so super sad.. I felt like the girl in tis video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvW66QQeLCI

Took the liberty of translating the lyrics if i am wrong please correct me. Thanks..
jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka
tak ingin ku paksakan cinta ini
meski tiada sanggup untuk kau terima
aku memang manusia paling berdosa
khianati rasa demi keinginan semu
lebih baik jangan mencintaiku aku dan semua hatiku
karena takkan pernah kau temui, cinta sejati
reff:
berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini
dan jangan kau tangisi lagi
sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu
sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma
sebab rasa ku tlah mati untuk menyadarinya
semoga saja kan kau dapati
hati yg tulus mencintaimu
tapi bukan aku

Please do not regret my desicion
I do not wish to hurt you further
Neither do I wish to force this love
Even though I know its difficult for you to accept it
Indeed I am the most sinned human
Destroyed by you wanting to be with me
Please do not love me and my heart
Cause you will never find true love.

The story ends here
Please don’t cry anymore
I will never return to you ever again
I wish to express my endless apologies
Cause I don’t realize the hurt that I am causing you
I hope one day you will meet someone who sincerely loves you
But not me…

Happy birthday TO me... :)

Its my 23rd birthday.. Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me....
I know its my birthday and I shouldn't be upset about anything. But I cant help feeling so sad. Its sombre is taking its toll on my heart.. Why is it everytime i like some one and wished things will be futhur than what it is. It will stall and not be tt way? It hurts is it a curse to like and be liked in return? If i do not like tt someone he is willing to spend the rest of his life with me. And now things are weird and blah blah... argh.. I do know I will mend my broken heart.

Tears flow endless down my cheeks as I wasted in sighs. Maybe things will be different soon. Maybe the light will come into my life and I will find truth and eternal happiness. Insya Allah.. :)

Till than Happy Birthday darling girl.. :)


XOXO
LuLu

All of my life where have you been I wonder if I see you again

I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Now that you are walking right through my door

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

A sacred gift of heaven
For better, worse, wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down
Nor take your crown, never

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And everytime I've always known
That you were there, upon your throne
A lonely queen without her king
I longed for you, my love forever

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again


I was bloody emo listening to tis song by lenny kravitz.. sob sob... Feeling so depressed that I wanna drown myself in happy sauce.. Sigh...


XOXO
LuLu

Considerations

What did I do today? I went into town and had some lunch and coffee-ing.... Went to an art store with bubs in my mind.. Thinking what can I get for him.. As I was browsing thru the aisles, he called.. It seems crazy.. Most of the time we are thinking of each other when either one of us call each other.. :) how crazy is that? hehe.. He wanted sketching pencils instead of brushes.. So I bought him a sketch book and a couple of of sketching pencils.. :) With a little note in the book hopes he likes it.. :)


Like I said when the constellations of the stars meet. It can be pretty deserving experience.But bubs always working busy period for him.. almost leaving me alone sometimes. BUt its for a good thing. We still meet up along the week. He calls more than twice a day. Still sends me pictures of him.. :) All is good...


XOXO
LuLu

by the way

its been a month since i met bub-y.. :)

Till now.. its been good. great... insya Allah more days to come.. :)

Anger.. An early start of death.. :)

"Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection^[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my boyfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states." quoted from Wiki.. :)

Today I was involved in various heated arguments with inviduals.. Racism seems typical in tis lonely city of adelaide. I was walking, greeted with a fuc* u for no apparent reason. With the middle finger right in my face.. hmmm... what was tt for?? U tell me..

Next, was walking along rundle mall.. a bunch of stupid kids was laughing and pointing at me when i was just sitting down. Hmmm Do I look like an alien... Maybe they haven seen a strange looking creature like myself... oh well.. Moving on

Lastly, by far this is the stupidest.. I received this brochure. Abt the life of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W and first ting I thouht .. hmm is this Islamic or one of the attempts to slander Islam.. Look at the back..
For more details visit.. bible online .com or sumting .. I was like WHAT now chirstians know abt our prophet's life?? okay.. Read it.. It is filled with slanders to the Prophet and Islam! Sheesh.. I found one of the guys distributing the brochure cause the guy tt gave it to me ran away as soon as giving it to me..

I said "lLook what is ur purpose and why for putting Islam in tt way in ur brochure"
He answer " to let people know that Jesus is the true god"
I said " okay????? hurmmm..... " do u have to use Islam to prove ur God is right? okay smart move??? (NOT)

Than i said" why is jesus god?"
He said" The first page of the bible states that God potrays himself in the image of men. so jesus is god in a man"
I said" So every man can be god than?"
He said" are u go than ?"
I said" hell no !"
I said " Look why don't u go on utube and search for ahmed Deedat's debates. ( cause ahmed Deedat has debate with a couple of professors whom hold doctorates in Bible studies ) May U be enlightned and God bless" Than I walk off

What I do not understand is that WHY u have to use another religion to prove ur religion right? Why not show that ur religion is right cause it is right? get it?? I dunno but I feel that if it is the right religion u do not need to use another religion to show urs is better or what.. it is the teachings that ur religion teaches that determines everything right? or am i wrong ?

I was personally insulted by these acts today and i felt so mad.. But than i realise.. Why be upset and argue with idiots? sigh... so let things go and be fine and be merry. cause life is too short to be wasted on fools and idiots..

Bub-y always says" Never argue with fools :) "


XOXO
LuLu

Over a Cibo-Cino

I would always have my coffee @ Cibo along rundle street. The place is where i would let go of bottled feelings , thoughts and anger. My regular order would usually consists of a Cibo Cino no froth take away. hehe. More than a couple of the workers remembers my order.. Well I wrote a piece of what you can say peotry or prose on one of my visits there. Here it goes...

"My only mistake was to love a stranger. A stranger whom I do no know where he is from, who he is or his history plays. But the love I've found was strong yet mild. A timing love comes about. The smile I saw captures my soul.The heart of mine beats a million sorrows. For thy love, I kill. For thy love, I die. Melting into a timeless molten that last forever.

Who he is? The stranger of mine..... "

Feelin kinda low and depressed mood now. I do not know what will make me feel better. I really do not know. Tell me please. The mixture of intense moments and feelings are causing a stir in my peace.. :(


xOXO
LuLu

Happy faces but its a facade?

Sometimes somethings are not to be seen. Faith has it in us that things will change . When u believe in it it will be. Emo shit now.. arghh not nice.. anyway i got a piercing done.. just for it ... :)
counting down the days to be 23!~!!!! arghh not nice not nice

Happy Birthday Hamdi..

On Saturday, 2nd May 2009 we celebrated Hamdi's birthday. We lied to Hamdi, that we were going to Sydney.. Than we suprised him with a small birthday party... Following, we wanted to go to electric circus but, the queue was too long. So we decided to go to HQ man!!! HQ HQ!! it was a ballistic time we had..

Than he came by at abt 5 and we continued partying till abt 6 plus than we headed home. I was so happy and full of energy. I spent the whole day with him. Just chilling and having tea @ home. Yea pretty good day wasn't it.. Hmmm..
Sunday was cool.. Now its a Monday.. Monday always has Monday blues isn't it.. Well... its okie...


XOXO
LuLu