My Happiness these days :)

As we speak now, it is 8 days before my flight to the UK :) OMG i am super excited la can :) MY life is just so much better from the thoughts of it.

I get to revisit the Great Britain :) Than its off for my Euro Trip 2009 :)

Dearest God
Thank you for thy blessings :) I love u God

Everyday ,
My anticipations grows,
Like a seeding flower that blooms,
A million beauty

It seems not far where it is been
Not far before I left my sorrowful life
A pretty sight I may have found
A beauty I might keep for the rest of my life

XOXO
LuLu

My Life now

It has been 3 months I got home( unfortunately that is) A home that is once mine is no longer mine anymore I guess:)

Well let me start, I broken off with Rowdy as we speak of it :) Well there are certain things in life you only learn when the person u thought loved u well didnt actually love u at all.

So today I stand. Never a day since I stepped onto Singapore land I have been happy . I seem to lost what made me happy before when I was here. Job interviews make me sick to my stomach and alas I don't think I am cut out for this .

To make matters worst, I have a family whom I seem to have lost respect for. So there goes my chances of being a good person in the family :) I work in a way whereby logical thinking and intelligence governs my desicion making. And with that, I think they are not be able to accept.

Now happier things in line, I have been lucky to have met a certain someone who brings me hope. Hope that happier things may just be in my stride. He taught me alot of things regular people don't or encourage. He showed me that the 20% of people ( non -idiots) do exists. For that he gained me. He took away my breath as I speak. Thanks love.U gave me hope and for that I will repay u I promise u that.

Now I am admist of major desicion making . I need to strive for something better. Something more worthwhile than this . True love prevails thru hard times. Love may be a small world but its miracles felt by many who lived and told the tale. Famous couples vouch for that. Love not necessary be relationship kinda love. LOve in all forms. The love for life. I need to find that.

Soon my life will,must and is better :) I must be happy :) will be :)

XOXO
LuLu

Major Reconstructions?

Maybe. Take a step back and review on what is going to happen in my life.. Look around Princess is comfortable on her "chair" ( which was originally supposed to be mine but she claim to be hers.) Who am I to argue.I do not know what I have done in my life to be proud of. Honestly, what shall I do?

No job, No fame, No wealth, No bf , No anything.. writers block on my book tskk..


XOXO
LuLu

tapi bukan aku... krispatih

This song is so super sad.. I felt like the girl in tis video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvW66QQeLCI

Took the liberty of translating the lyrics if i am wrong please correct me. Thanks..
jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka
tak ingin ku paksakan cinta ini
meski tiada sanggup untuk kau terima
aku memang manusia paling berdosa
khianati rasa demi keinginan semu
lebih baik jangan mencintaiku aku dan semua hatiku
karena takkan pernah kau temui, cinta sejati
reff:
berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini
dan jangan kau tangisi lagi
sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu
sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma
sebab rasa ku tlah mati untuk menyadarinya
semoga saja kan kau dapati
hati yg tulus mencintaimu
tapi bukan aku

Please do not regret my desicion
I do not wish to hurt you further
Neither do I wish to force this love
Even though I know its difficult for you to accept it
Indeed I am the most sinned human
Destroyed by you wanting to be with me
Please do not love me and my heart
Cause you will never find true love.

The story ends here
Please don’t cry anymore
I will never return to you ever again
I wish to express my endless apologies
Cause I don’t realize the hurt that I am causing you
I hope one day you will meet someone who sincerely loves you
But not me…

Happy birthday TO me... :)

Its my 23rd birthday.. Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me....
I know its my birthday and I shouldn't be upset about anything. But I cant help feeling so sad. Its sombre is taking its toll on my heart.. Why is it everytime i like some one and wished things will be futhur than what it is. It will stall and not be tt way? It hurts is it a curse to like and be liked in return? If i do not like tt someone he is willing to spend the rest of his life with me. And now things are weird and blah blah... argh.. I do know I will mend my broken heart.

Tears flow endless down my cheeks as I wasted in sighs. Maybe things will be different soon. Maybe the light will come into my life and I will find truth and eternal happiness. Insya Allah.. :)

Till than Happy Birthday darling girl.. :)


XOXO
LuLu

All of my life where have you been I wonder if I see you again

I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Now that you are walking right through my door

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

A sacred gift of heaven
For better, worse, wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down
Nor take your crown, never

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And everytime I've always known
That you were there, upon your throne
A lonely queen without her king
I longed for you, my love forever

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again


I was bloody emo listening to tis song by lenny kravitz.. sob sob... Feeling so depressed that I wanna drown myself in happy sauce.. Sigh...


XOXO
LuLu

Considerations

What did I do today? I went into town and had some lunch and coffee-ing.... Went to an art store with bubs in my mind.. Thinking what can I get for him.. As I was browsing thru the aisles, he called.. It seems crazy.. Most of the time we are thinking of each other when either one of us call each other.. :) how crazy is that? hehe.. He wanted sketching pencils instead of brushes.. So I bought him a sketch book and a couple of of sketching pencils.. :) With a little note in the book hopes he likes it.. :)


Like I said when the constellations of the stars meet. It can be pretty deserving experience.But bubs always working busy period for him.. almost leaving me alone sometimes. BUt its for a good thing. We still meet up along the week. He calls more than twice a day. Still sends me pictures of him.. :) All is good...


XOXO
LuLu